Books and Things

When I was growing up, there was a bookstore in my hometown called "Books & Things". When we'd go there, my brother and I would stand in the children's section while my parents looked around. It's such a nice memory. My favorite book that I got there was called "101 Things to do with a Dead Cat". It was a humorous cartoon book with 101 illustrations of what you could do with a dead cat (hence, the name...), much like the kind of humor seen in Gary Larson cartoons. I don't condone violence to cats or any other animal, but it was a funny book. My topic for today is about books and things that have helped me on my miscarriage journey.
When I lost Christian, I bought a book called "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt. It was kind of a "how to" about getting through a miscarriage and subsequent pregnancies written by a woman whose baby died at 5 months. Like me, she went to the doctor for a scheduled appointment only to find out that her baby was dead. One quote I learned reading her book, which I said to myself every other time I've been pregnant, was "Let go and let God." I said that SO many times when I was pregnant with my oldest and when I was pregnant with my 4th (I actually spotted when I was pregnant with her and am now convinced that God really intervened to keep her with me).
The next book is "A Deeper Shade of Grace" by Bernadette Keaggy. I bought this book several years ago just to loan to women who had been through a miscarriage but I didn't actually read it until last summer when I decided to let go of my anger toward God and let Him heal me. Bernadette lost 6 (I am pretty sure, but can't remember right off), including a set of triplets like my bro and sis-in-law. In the book, she touches on anger at God, which is really what I needed to hear.
A pamphlet put out by Focus on the Family called "Permission to Grieve: Finding Healing and Hope after Miscarriage" is the next one I'd like to talk about. I got this one from a crisis pregnancy center that had a booth at a Christian music festival I went to. It would be good for anyone who has had a miscarriage as well as those who know someone who has had one. Lots of good information on what to say and do for a grieving mother/family. A favorite quote that I've posted on miscarriage message boards and another blog is: "The human soul has no size." My babies were all very small when they died, so that holds particular significance for me. It can be obtained at www.family.org/pregnancy
The final book I'll talk about is one my sister-in-law loaned me after her son died. It is called "Dear Cheyenne" by Joanne Cacciatore. Ms. Cacciatore's daughter Cheyenne died just before she went into labor with her. The book is in diary form and is full of the raw emotion a grieving mother feels. This book would be good for someone whose baby died farther along or for one whose baby died shortly after birth (my nephew was 5 1/2 months). It is not written from a Christian perspective (the author has ideas that her daughter turned into an angel, etc.), but it is a good book.
A website that I've found comfort through is the National Share organization. I'll look up the web address and post it in a minute. A few minutes later: nationalshareoffice.com
All of these resources are good, but nothing can beat the sensitivity of a friend or family member who sends a card to let you know they're thinking of you or who just asks you how you are. I was in a situation with a little baby yesterday and a friend asked me how I was doing. It was nice to know she cares (thanks, A :) ). I did do well and even held the baby. I actually enjoyed it!
Until next time...
Paula