Remembering the Triplets

I have posted before about my triplet nephew and nieces who were born too soon five years ago. Today, I'd like to talk about them. Today is their birth/death day.
When my brother and his wife, M and BJ, got married, we knew they probably would not have children on their own. In September 2001, they started trying to have a baby by using fertility drugs. The drugs consisted of 2 very painful shots per day, lovingly administered by my brother, to stimulate ovulation. They were told before they started this regimen that this type of medication had a 50% chance of producing multiples, so we were semi-prepared for that possibility. At the time, I was working at a local crisis pregnancy center. BJ called me one evening and told me that she thought she was pregnant. She wasn't suppose to start her period for another day or two, but I told her I'd run a test on her if she wanted to come in. Sure enough, she got a very pink positive. I've ran enough tests on myself and others to know that a very pink positive that early wasn't very normal, so I immediately thought she might be expecting twins (2 weeks earlier, an ultrasound showed that 3 eggs were "ripe" and going to be released when they gave the shot to make them release).
A few weeks later, we were VERY shocked to learn that there were definitely 2 babies and maybe a 3rd. There was a slight shadow on the screen behind one of the babies. Two weeks after the initial u/s, it was confirmed that there were 3 babies in BJ's womb. We were all so excited and spent the next couple of months preparing for the BIG family event! BJ's pregnancy was very eventful. She was violently ill most of the first 3 months and EXTREMELY tired. The doctor put her on progesterone until the 1st trimester was over. When she was 3 1/2 months, I was able to go to the specialist's visit with them. She did an u/s to check up on them. Everything looked great. It was so wild to see that many babies on an u/s. All you could see were backbones and legs! At about 4 months, they had another u/s which told them they were having 2 girls and a boy. One of the girls was sucking her thumb in all of the u/s pictures. It was so cute.
On March 6, BJ went to the hospital for some contractions she was having. They told her she had just overdone it. March 14, same thing. At 1:30 a.m. March 15, my mom called me telling me M and BJ were in the hospital. She was fully dilated and was definitely going to lose the babies. She was only 21 weeks along. Our hospital will only ship a woman out if she is 24 weeks to try to save the babies.
I went to the hospital and "coached" BJ through contractions. Her insensitive doctor finally allowed her to have an epidural early in the morning, which brought physical relief, but none for the heart. The room was quiet. No fetal monitor was hooked up to her, but we could hear one in the next room over. Very depressing.... I went home at about 9 to shower and rest a few hours.
At about 2:00 p.m., Ethan Matthew, Rebecca Jo, and Brianna Rae came into the world, alive, but totally silent. I arrived shortly after and my family (Dad, Mom, Uncle) and some church friends spent the next 2 hours holding the babies, looking at them, and taking pictures of them. At about 4:30, the girls both died, and Ethan died shortly after. He was the first to come into the world and the last to leave. It was like he was trying to be a good big brother to watch out for his sisters. Before they all died, my brother held each of them and to each he said, "I love you and you will always be my favorite Ethan/Rebecca/Brianna." I left after the nurse took them away. When I got into my car, the song that was on the radio was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. It's a song about what we'll see in Heaven. I have never been able to listen to that song since without much sadness.
March 18, a funeral was held at our church cemetary for them. One small casket with 3 little babies in it... My dad, who is a blacksmith, made a very large flower hanger in the shape of a cross, with 3 little children on it holding hands.
I struggled with the knowledge that nothing was done for BJ or the babies to try to save them for a long time. A few months after they died, my husband was called to set up a helicopter landing site for twins born at 24 weeks in the same hospital the triplets were born at. Both of the babies ended up dying. After that happened, I looked on it as such a mercy from God that the babies were not any older. We got to hold the triplets and spend their only 2 hours on our earth with them. The woman who lost her twins did not get that. Her babies were whisked away, never to be seen alive by her again.
I've written in other posts about my being pro-life. I have seen and held a 21 week old baby. It IS a baby--looks just like a full term baby, only very small. I don't see how women or anyone can justify the taking of an innocent life, whether it is 5 weeks old in it's mother's womb or 35 weeks old in it's mother's womb (yes, abortion CAN be performed until birth). While we were having a funeral for the triplets, other babies the same age were being tossed out as hospital waste. The thought makes no sense to me and it makes me sick....
Six weeks after the triplets were lost, BJ went in for her 6 week checkup. It was then that we learned that the girls were identical twins. Brianna, who was 3 ounces smaller than Ethan and Rebecca, was the shadow on the first u/s. I read up on this and it is possible for a twin to "split off" up to a week after conception. If it occurs after a week, siamese twins form. The doctors think Brianna was just a few days younger than the other 2.
I have shed more tears writing this one than any of the other posts I've written. We all miss those babies, but a year and a half later, we saw God's reasoning when M and BJ adopted a little black girl they named McKenzie. She is such a blessing to our family and we are thankful that God's ways are higher than ours...
Paula