Is there a cure for the Baby Bug?

I want to start todays entry with a BIG congratulations to my good friend who gave birth to her fifth child and first boy this morning! Congratulations, L!
I have to admit that all week, I've been nervous about hearing her news. I have been very excited and anxious to hear, but I am still in uncharted territory as far as being ecstatically happy for new moms. I can say honestly and very proudly that I am ecstatically happy for her! This is a first for me since losing my babies and my ability to have them.
That brings me to my title: Is there a cure for the Baby Bug? Earlier this week, I cried for the first time in a long time over not being able to have another baby. I thought for a brief minute about looking into adoption again, but we are not financially able to do that right now. I don't know if the excitement over L's baby made me want another one so badly or if my symptoms of the Baby Bug are just rearing their ugly heads again. Some of the symptoms include: aching to hold a baby, missing the poopy diapers and sleepless nights (you know you want one if you think about that stuff), remembering all of the cute, sweet things your babies did, and the general feeling that something is missing from your life. I have decided in my uncertainty this week that it's not so much that I miss my miscarried babies, but I miss terribly having a little one and all of the excitement and joy they bring. I do miss my babies, don't get me wrong, but I think missing being a mom to a little baby is what brings me the most heartache now. It's kind of like going on a vacation to a wonderful place and never being able to go back. A friend and I talked a little bit about the "Bug" and it's nice to know that I'm not alone. I hope her longing is fulfilled the way the Lord wants it to be...
There are a few things that I have yet to do since losing my babies: visit a new mom in the hospital, hold a newborn, watch "Birth Day" on Discovery Health (these types of shows were my favorite when I was anxiously awaiting the births several of my babies), or look at my prenatal books that I never had the courage to get rid of. I did look in my baby names book this week because I was cleaning off bookshelves. I looked at it incessantly when I was pregnant trying to find the right name for each of my babies. It really didn't make me sad, but I guess I had a little pang. I have a lot of those, which is better than a huge heartache. I may be facing 2 of those "firsts" tomorrow. I think I will be fine and in my healing process, I've found that every little victory (holding a baby for the first time after losing one, buying baby things for someone else, being genuinely happy for a new mom or a pregnant woman) are treatments for the Baby Bug. I don't think there is a cure. It's something you just live with.....
Hopelessly incurable, but learning to live with it,
Paula