A Note to the Newly Grief-stricken and their Loved Ones

After learning of a woman who lost twins last week at 20 weeks, I decided that I should put a little note in my blog to those who have found this and have recently lost a baby.
I have written this blog from the perspective of one who has had 1 1/2 to 2 years of healing. Some of the emotions are very raw still, but for the most part, I am OK. For my story and most of the story of my healing since losing my babies, please look at the earliest entries of my blog.
To those wanting to help someone who has lost a baby, my advice would be to:
*remember--the baby's due date, date when he/she was lost, and just the fact that the Mom is healing and will be for a long time.
*send a card--even if there is nothing else to be done, the Mom can keep these as a memory of her baby. I still have the cards from when I lost Christian 14 years ago.
*take food--it's hard to think of anything when you are grieving, so this is something that is always appreciated.
*take time to read up on what your loved one is going through. Even if you've never been there, it is possible to be sensitive to their needs.
*Don't--expect a timeline for your loved one to be better. Everyone heals in their own time. Also, let them grieve in their own way. Some of us go a little wild when we're grieving, including me. I ran from God fast and hard, but eventually, I did come back and He welcomed me back. For a little more about this, read the chapter about grief in the book "Facing Your Giants" by Max Lucado. (It's a great book with only one chapter about grief, but that chapter hit the nail on the head when it came to my story.)
*Don't--send a birth announcement if you've had a baby, or expect the grieving Mom to want to see your baby. I've been on both sides of the coin on this one. It's hard to want to show your little one off and have another not want to see him/her, but it is even harder to see a baby and long to have your baby back.
For those going through this grief, I'm so sorry. I hope what I've gleaned from the past couple of years will help you.
God bless you,
Paula