Happy New Year! 2008 started with a wicked awesome good time at a friend's house and thus far, I am looking forward to the new year.
Today is my daughter Emily's 11th birthday. All yesterday was spent remembering being in labor all day and everytime I woke up in the night, I remembered the 3 1/2 hours of pushing it took to get her out! She was my 1st vaginal birth and she weighed in at 9 lbs. 3 oz. My friend who recently killed herself was such an incredible help to me during the hours of agony. Emily's birth was my only unmedicated one and it was MISERABLE!! I discovered the wonder of an epidural with my other kids and I was much less traumatized after their births.
I wanted to title this post "A Little Something to Piss Me Off", but I decided that it was too strong a title. This is the incident that did it:
I wrote in my last entry about my niece who just miscarried. Tomorrow, our family is having a baby shower for her sister, who is due in April, but lives in Colorado and won't be home again until after the baby comes. I asked Janessa (the one who lost the baby) if she was coming tomorrow. She told me that she was and I told her that I wouldn't have been able to do it after I lost my babies. I then told her that I'd talk to my mother-in-law and tell her my feelings on the situation. I don't think she should feel like she has to be there! I told my mother-in-law about it and she said, "I understand that, but I also understand that this is her sister and she needs to support her." I dropped the subject after that because it made me so mad. Spoken as one who has never been there! This girl's mother also lost babies to miscarriage and I can't understand why she isn't being more sympathetic to her daughter. Everyone is so wrapped up in the 1st grandbaby for that family that the pain of one daughter is being ignored. Gggrrrrr!!! Why is it that grieving moms-to-be have to march to the drummer that everyone else marches to? If the baby had been born and died, she would be treated with more compassion. I know that there is a big difference between losing a baby at 5 weeks and losing one after birth, but this is the greatest pain she has ever known and she needs to be treated as one who is enduring a devastating loss.
I'm finished venting. It just really aggrevated me!!!
Paula
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I know this post is from January. I found your blog through another blog. How I wish I had someone to talk to who understood my pain. I had an ectopic pregnancy almost 2 years ago and there are some days when the pain is so raw and fresh. Ugh...there's a lot I want to write, but sometimes I don't know how to put it. I know what your niece was/is going through. My sister in law's got pregnant after I lost the baby. Everyone seems to ignore the fact that I lost one...and a tube.
I need to stop before I start to cry!! Anyway, thanks for having this blog. I don't feel so alone.
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