My boy's 3rd birthday

Yesterday was my baby boy's 3rd birthday. I know 3 isn't really a baby anymore, but he still seems like a baby to me.
All day, I was sad thinking about the day he was born--my water breaking in the middle of the night, the 4 contractions I actually felt before I got my epidural (those ARE wonderful things!), anxiously awaiting my little Susanna Joy to be born, as we had 2 ultrasounds telling us we were having our 5th girl, and the total shock and joy we felt when my Mom said "It's a boy!" with a whole lot of disbelief in her voice! Well, my little Sean E. Man as we call him, has always been a surprise to us. I tell people I could have had the 4 girls all at once and not be as busy as he makes me. I do love the little guy, though. Yesterday, I grabbed him and said something about him being my baby boy. He said in his little voice, "I'n not a baby. I'n a big boy." He certainly is getting to be....
I know those things aren't things I should be sad about, but for a long time, I couldn't think about the days my kids were born because it made me too sad. I feel like I never had closure to my child-bearing. After Sean was born, I suffered from postpartum depression. I was never on medication for it, but probably should have been. After I lost the babies, I wished so hard that I could have just been happy after he was born. Oh, well, water under the bridge...
I am a happy person now. It's taken me 3 long years (with a short stint between the PPD and my 1st miscarriage), but I am finally trying to live again.
I mentioned in an earlier post about doing the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Denver. It's official. I signed up a few weeks ago and now am training and fundraising. I'll be posting more about it as the June walk dates near.
I better go. I'm walking on my Mom-in-law's treadmill today.
Paula